A place for me

I want a place to write about my day, my life, my thoughts and just what i feel like writing about and expressing to the world.
I want pictures but to be honest, as much as i love having them and taking them, i find importing them to the actual blog to be difficult and i don't know why or what i am doing right or wrong but it sure is something.

Today, i walked my puppy after dark. It wasn't that late however, my neighbourhood being what it is....well its going downhill pretty fast. Today, while walking my puppy, i saw gang activity. Again. It doesnt make me feel safe to walk alone with a small dog at night because, all it would take is someone in a bad mood or just the wrong day. I hate being afraid to walk outside at 8:30 at night because the neighbourhood is just getting to that point. And i hate looking at the people i pass by and wondering if they are going to follow me.

I'm going through alot of changes in my life right now. Most for the better I think.

I have started new medications and therapy to help with depression, insomnia, and anxiety. So far, things are doing better but i can't guarentee if that is because of the medications or the fact i cut one of my biggest stressors out of my life or both. It is doing better though, more manageable. I feel more in control and that is a bonus and it is helping me.

Financially...I am effed. My current job isn't paying my bills let alone my life. Plus the fact i am supposed to be saving 60-150$/week for europe in 18 months. Which so far hasn't happened, but I am not that far behind as i still have some study money that i can rely on for that. Thank god for study money, for selling my problems out to scientists and researchers for the benefit of everyone. So far, the studies have done me no harm, and the current study is doing me some good. I am hoping to do another study soon, one that will pay for most of Europe, if they open it up soon. I went and talked to Jen about going back to my old job but, at the moment, that isn't possible. I have people in there that are working where they can to change that but....its a waiting game and playing it is hard on me right now. So out i will head to look for other similar work to add to the income and make things a little easier on me right now.

Stock itself does not pay consistantly - in the fact that i dont receive my checks regularily which is making things awkward as well on that front. They also short each and every check by 5-10 hours which is a huge amount. They short me almost an hours pay a day and call it justified with nothing that i can to to change things. It bugs me but i need the job and truely, what can i do about it? I am hoping that any of the many jobs i applied for, and have inteviewed for, might come through but i understand the realities of where i am in life and....well, it needs to change but....change takes time.

I am working on going back to school, with my dream school being in ottawa. I am trying to find out what is the requirements for that and if i can make it in or not but...once again, things are moving slowly on that front as i am waiting for contact from a liason officer. My next step is to call them, but it might be expensive to call that far for that long on mom's current lack of a phone plan at all.

I think that writing will be good for me.

I am also working on the xmas knitting. I am making socks socks and more socks but...i am bored. I learned how to DPN and since then i haven't had much challenge. They move fast but...i dont know, i am just slightly bored. I made a beaded scarf, and that was ok but it also wasn't quite as much of a challenge as i had been hoping for. i dont know if i am in a craft rut or what but something is going on with me, craftually, and i am just loking for the inspiration it will take to fix it or to change something.

Like i said, i am in a place of so much change right now and most of it, i think, is going to be good for me.

Scary, different, but overall....good for me